I have ZERO or ALL!

“I don’t have medium. I have ZERO or ALL!”

A conversation with a close friend around which parts of life and which relationships are worth the energy we put into them included me making this comment about myself.

I have warred with this my entire life - the inability to half-ass something in order to preserve my time, energy, or heart. I do envy those who can toe lightly into a scenario..... sort of. I spend so much time analyzing a situation in my head that once I have chosen to act, there is no medium pace. There is no “take time to figure this out” because - well, I’ve already figured it out.

My dad once told someone close to me “What I know about Melissa is that when she says she wants something or is going to do something, you can either help her or get out of her way.”

I don’t war with this any longer, because my processing involves prayer. I was made this way - to be fully committed, fully focused, fully dependable, fully behind my word, and fully me. My journey now simply involves praying ahead of time for guidance so I do not misplace the ALL setting. Sometimes I misinterpret the message and have to back up and punt again......but I hope to always learn the lesson and become stronger along the way.